Why Ladies over 40 Should be Picky Daters

"I know why you are not married: you're just too picky!" Ladies who are single in their 40s, 50s and beyond hear this a lot. Following all, what other reason can there be for why you haven't yet snagged a man?  As a woman who became a first-time bride at 47, I heard this a lot?particularly from my father. And also the word "picky" was said with such disdain, like I wasn't deserving of being selective. Like I should just grab the next guy who would have me.

Whenever you hear that enough, you can start buying into thinking that your expectations of men are simply too high. Then, as frequently happens within the black-or-white world many of us live in, our answer would be to swing the complete opposite direction. We begin accepting much less, sticking around too lengthy and putting up with way too much.

As a dating and relationship coach for ladies over 40, I see this a great deal. A perfect example is "New York," a gal who emailed me lately:

"?I like him and decided to give him a few more chances. An additional opportunity to cancel at the last minute, stand me up, never call or appear busy if I known as. I was trying to break an old habit of giving up too soon."

In her effort to be more open and give him a chance, she accepted disrespect and his utter lack of integrity. He didn't treat her as if she was special to him in any way: far from it, actually. Yet she was sticking around.

This is the gigantic question, isn't it? If you're not feeling pleased with him, how do you decide if you're expecting too much or not giving him sufficient time? You don't wish to miss out on a great guy, but you do not want to waste your time on the wrong guy either.

I admit that it is tough to obtain your arms around striking the balance between becoming picky and being a pushover. This was definitely 1 of my toughest challenges in my umpteen years of dating. I lastly figured out a method to make good decisions around this, and now I teach that as my last step of my Discover Hope and then Discover Him Coaching Program. I call this step "Should I Stay or Ought to I Go?

I strongly encourage you to be a picky dater. This is especially true in the event you?re dating over 40 and clear about who you are and what you want. In the event you know this, and have articulated your rules and boundaries, then you know your dating must haves.

And much more importantly, you know your can't-haves. You might not know early on if he has is your guy, but you tend to know if he isn't. And you just don't need to accept bad behavior. On that you should be Ms. Picky. With the rest of the stuff, chill and give him a chance.

When I asked New York if her must-haves included being honored and told the truth, she said "of course" and her choice suddenly seemed quite simple. It was time to bail.

Making these good decisions has everything to do with how you feel about yourself. Do you trust and respect yourself?

When you have simple tools like this to guide you to results you can be proud of, it can completely change the way you date.